My mark on society.

When I was born unto this earth, I knew there was something inside of me that was, well, special. I know it sounds trite. No one is ever born with the inclination to suck, as far as I know. I can't speak for all of the population of the earth, but about myself, I am 100% certain. I wanted to be an actress as a small girl...do what they did in the TV...Somewhere along the way I realized I was an above average singer....no, honestly, an amazingly kick ass singer...then that was the plan. Time came and went, and singing never quite brought me the world domination that I had imagined. I turned to writing. Maybe someone out there would want to hear my views on life, etc...Last night it happened. I altered the world for the rest of time... I created a verb. Creating a noun is nothing. People do it every day. New toy...new noun. New pasta dish...new noun. New president...new vocabulary...But a verb...a verb...now that is a one in a million occurrence. They don't just hand verbs out to anyone, you know? It's not just and Jo Blow off of the street that creates a verb, you know. I am officially awesome....and I have my afore mentioned "together" friend to thank for this life altering event. This particular friend (who shall remain nameless at his own request), is one of those really, really, amazingly intelligent, uber-techie, integrated-into-the-matrix, kind of guys. I am not a computer person by nature. I can do what I need to write, to surf, and to find groovy pimped out vans on eBay. Not much else. Hell, he had to tell the the key combo to cut and paste when my mouse wasn't working the other day. I'm just that dumb. My internet wasn't working and he launches into one of those, "Well, you need to do this...now enter this...now dance around in a circle in a counterclockwise direction and stop when you reach a right angle to the dangle..." and POOF, the shit works...he's that guy. He does alot of things, you know, entrepanuerial type stuff. Smart guy stuff. One of the jobs he has had in the past, and something he currently does as a side gig is to manipulate search engines. The way I understand it (and I will probably get a call correcting this assumption within 10 minutes of publishing this blog) in laymans terms...He takes a phrase, say "amazingly bad-ass singer" off the top of my head. He takes this phrase, and manipulates a search engine so that if you were to enter "amazingly bad-ass singer" into that engine "my" site will come up toward the top in the options (ie, rankings) of sites with that word combination. He also takes variations of that phrase and does the same thing. With the hyphen, without, etc. He has done this for many companies, and on many engines. It's very time consuming, and very expensive to have done. I also think it's kind of a cool way of manipulating information to work for you. It's also a business created by a business, which is the American way. Somehow, though, it seems that if this were a fair society, what came up under "amazingly bad-ass singer" would not only be A) Me, but B) whatever the engine found first. It's kind of a dirty trick, if you ask me. So, he seems to be doing this ALOT. He's always on the computer, trying to take over the world from the mainframe out, it seems. The mad wizard stirring the boiling cauldron that exists only inside his laptop. The other day I was talking to him on line, and he was remarking about how much work of this type he had to get done. Then, it came to me...my moment...my epiphany...my verb!!! "Oh, so, you've spent the whole day Screwoogling, huh?" I said. Screwoogle...screwoogling??? It was as though I had waited all my life for this one moment. My baby. My verb. Subsequently, as a result of the freaking-awesomeness of my existence, and the kindness of strangers...(only strange in a good way), there is now a domain name "www.screwoogle.com" that I have unlimited access to until 2008. (There's an experation sate on a verb???). It's just a matter of what I do with the site, and how I use my verb to take over the universe? Can you trademark a verb? Maybe the Google guys will hate it so much they will buy it from me for multi-millions of dollars, I can publish my album, and retire to an island. So, here is your opportunity to participate, folks. Any ideas for www.screwoogle.com, send them my way. We could use this as a place to dump cheesy porn, a place for a rocking message board, nothing but my music, or find a way to use this site to stick it to the man? I'm pulling for the last option...I'm all for a good man stickin' to. C'mon, help an "amazingly bad ass chick" out... I wonder how much I'd have to pay him for that?