Once again I find myself falling from your graces
Asking for space is
Becoming something akin to your modus operandi
I will take the fall I
Knowingly take it all.
Again.
Because you will always win.
One moment you’re my teammate.
Hand off the ball.
Reciprocate.
A heartbeat later I am public enemy number one.
Where is the fun?
In all life’s lessons
I never learned
The one about the friend,
The time you got burned.
Turned out okay in the end.
Alternate definitions of “mend.”
And I thought there was a refresher course.
Flipping with ease from bad to worse…
When it was someone you trusted,
But instead I just found myself dusted.


So when you’re sitting out there-
Wherever you are,
And something quite near becomes too far…
And you wonder where is that sound
You thought you found?
The sound of someone tried, true, and real.
And suddenly you remember,
There is no deal.
Remember that you asked
That I should pass
And merely nod on the street.
Staring at my feet.
And pretend that I don’t know
What dwells inside your mind.
Believe there is nothing there more to find.
Play along with the charade that I am the pest…
…and fuck all the rest.


But know that I am something
Much more than disposable.
I am a force much like yours
That is not easily opposable.
I am the punch line that only you hear.
I am the thing that maybe you fear?
Because every time I get pushed aside
Eventually I wind up back in the ride.
Like that flu you can’t quite shake.
I know eventually you will break.
And I will get the call,
Or the look, or the sigh,
And I will wonder “Why?”


Why should I gamble
when I know the score?
What is the preamble to
This ego really for?
But I forgive you each and every time.
Even when I’m
Knowing I’m the fool…
…and repeat my mistakes.
My heart aches
For the laughter
That always comes after
And, so, I will silently find my place
Until you once again ask me
To resume taking your space.